


Close the Blinds

by ifelt_infinite



Series: Close the Blinds [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-25
Updated: 2012-05-25
Packaged: 2017-11-06 00:54:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifelt_infinite/pseuds/ifelt_infinite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Through his window, Castiel Milton, a questioning teenage boy raised in a catholic family, can see into the neighbor boy's bedroom. Especially at night during blasphemous acts. But Castiel can't stop watching.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close the Blinds

 

  


It was strange being from practically the only family that sent their kids off to Catholic school in their neighborhood. Watching the other teenagers in the neighborhood hang out and go places together while he only spends time with his siblings, and only really enjoys spending time with Anna. Gabriel is questionable. When Michael and Lucifer come around, he feels like he has to watch his every move for fear of doing or saying something that would result in a lecture of the proper Catholic ways. 

Sometimes he wonders what the others kids do in school. If they have a mass every day or if they learn about the bible and the sins. If they learn what gets you into Heaven and what damns you to Hell.

Castiel is sure that he is well on his way to damnation.

He's been watching Dean Winchester for quite some time; the boy who wears plaid shirts and henleys, an old brown leather jacket, and boots that looked like they've been put to good use. He goes out at night, school nights even, and comes back stumbling his way back up to the porch. Sometimes, when the family's pick-up truck isn't in the driveway, he brings a girl home. The lights in what Castiel can only assume is Dean's bedroom, directly across the street from his own, go on and then off.  Sometimes the light stays on. Sometimes he sees the girl's shirt come off. Sometimes he sees Dean's shirt come off. Sometimes he sees them kiss and tumble towards the bed. Sometimes it's not a girl.

Sometimes, it's a guy.

This is when Castiel doesn't look away. He is only partially hidden behind his curtains and is sure if Dean or the other guy turned just right, they could spot him.

He isn't sure what to make of it. The lights stay on and he watches Dean slip down towards the floor. 

He remembers his teacher telling him homosexuality is a sin. He isn't supposed to want to lie with another man. It isn't right. He remembers the time when Anna asked him if any girl had caught his eye yet. He’d answered no and Lucifer had overheard. Later that night Lucifer told him exactly what happens to men who choose to be with other men. When Michael came to visit, he reiterated that lesson. Castiel forced himself to pay a little more attention to the girls after that. 

But he doesn't ever look away from Dean’s window. 

He always tells Anna everything. Anna’s the one that helped him earn enough money to replace the precious vase he had broken by accident before their mother even noticed. Anna’s the one that was there for him when he finally found out that their father had walked out in them. Ann’s the one that helps him with his math homework because he’s never been good at it. But this is something he wouldn’t dare inform her of. If he ever did want to talk about it, Gabriel would probably be the safest. He is the most troublesome one; the one that is constantly lectured by Michael and Lucifer. Gabriel likes to sneak off to parties and occasionally comes home smelling of alcohol. But Castiel is sure that he is a good person. He just likes to have a little fun. His oldest brothers never see it that way.

He remembers the time his eldest brothers caught Anna trying to learn some dance moves from the latest music video. They donned them lustful and had their mother put a block on all the channels that showed any type of music videos.

Their mother is a quiet woman that wanted the best for her children. When their father left, she kept to herself mostly. You wouldn’t know they even had a mother sometimes. She raised them with catholic values in which Lucifer and Michael latched onto. Lucifer and Michael were more parent figures to them than their own mother, not that Castiel ever blamed her.

It’s Friday night and Dean Winchester’s bedroom light turns on. There’s a guy with him and Castiel hides himself behind his curtains.

Dean’s hands are gripping the guy’s hips as his sucks a bruise onto his neck. His fingers are slipping up to touch skin hidden by his shirt. He pulled the shirt up and off before reaching for his own. The other guy’s fingers are working at the button of Dean’s jeans when Dean looks out the window. He looks right at Castiel and he can’t bring himself to hide or even blink.

Dean smirks and winks right before the other guy drops to his knees.

Castiel finally remembers how to move and slides down the wall besides the window. He starts whispering a prayer to himself, for God to cleanse him of his sins and promising he will never look again. He doesn’t stop until his mother raps on his door and tell him lights out. 

They’ve got church in the morning.

+

After church, Castiel had wanted to talk to Gabriel about Dean. His plans are destroyed when Gabriel takes off to go hang out with Balthazar. 

So instead, he talks to Anna.

“Michael and Lucifer told me it was a sin. Why would God make me this way?” Castiel asks while they bake cookies in the kitchen for the church bake sale.

Anna tucks a loose strand of her red hair behind her ear and gets flour in it by accident. “I’ve never seen that in the bible.” She measures another cup of flour into the bowl. 

“I’m scared. I don’t want to go to hell.” Castiel whispers as he cracks an egg into the bowl.

“You have faith, right Cas?” Anna asks.

“Of course,” Castiel responds quickly, almost taking offense that she even asked. 

“Well faith works in different ways. Some people read every word in the bible likes it’s law. Others take the words as guidelines to shape their lives.” She begins to stir the cookie batter. “Michael and Lucifer are the first one. If the bible says don’t jump, they don’t jump. Me and Gabe are the second group. If the bible says don’t jump, use that idea to develop a more modern sense of the lesson and use that to live our lives.” She places her hand on his shoulder. “Understand?”

Castiel smiles at her. “I guess. Do you mind finishing this last batch yourself? I really want to go look through my bible.”

“Sure,” She says.

“Thanks, Anna.” He says as he turns to head upstairs.

+

When Castiel walks out of the school building after staying afterschool to help a teacher, he doesn’t expect to find Dean Winchester leaning against his 1967 Chevy Impala in the parking lot. 

Castiel freezes as his books drop from his hands and onto the asphalt. 

“W-what are you doing here?” he stammers out. 

“I was in the area. Thought I’d give you a ride home.” Dean is wearing a worn brown leather jacket with the collar popped over an olive green Henley and tattered jeans. His boots are beaten to hell, unlaced with the tongue pulled out. He licks his lips and Castiel feels ashamed for tracking the slick slide of tongue over plump lips.

“I’m fine. My brother will come get me.”

“Why bother him when I’m already here? We do live across the street. It’s not even out of the way.”

“Gabriel is already on his way.”

“I saw him and Balthazar smoking behind my school. I doubt he’ll be here anytime soon.”

“I’ll walk.” Castiel grabs his books off the ground and tries not to look into Dean’s eyes.

“Just get in the car.”

“No.” he says before he starts walking in the direction of his house. “Goodbye Dean.”

Dean saw him. He’s positive Dean saw him. He is not getting in a car with the guy he’s been peeping on for months. Especially not when said guy saw him and freaking winked at him. If that wasn’t going to be an awkward ride, then he didn’t know what would.

He gets about a block before Dean catches up to him in his car. He rolls down the window and yells, “Get in the fucking car Milton!”

Castiel feels the first drops of rain before decided that maybe he’s being stupid and grabs the handle of the Impala’s passenger door. Castiel feels that if he was the type of guy who was into car he would really appreciate the car. Heck, he kind of appreciates it now especially when it’s keeping him dry and warm from the rain.

+

Neither of them says a word and the only noise is the radio playing classic rock in the background. Dean’s tapping against the steering wheel along with the beat and Castiel stares down at his hands in his lap. If his mother knew he was getting a ride with the rebellious neighbor boy, he would be lectured and grounded. 

“The answer’s yes.” Dean says.

“Huh?” Castiel asks.

“The answer is yes. Yes, I saw you.” Dean repeats.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Castiel lies. He going to have to pray twice as much tonight to make up for the lie he just told, but he’d rather lie that admit to have watched and lusted after Dean during his inappropriate acts.

Dean smirks, “Oh you know, the other day when I was in my room with this really hot guy and he drop to his knees and sucked my cock. I saw you watching. I always do.”

Castiel makes a little embarrassed noise. “Did you like the show?” Dean asks.

“Stop the car. I’ll walk.” Castiel says as he attempts to open the car door.

Dean pulls over and Castiel swings his door open. Unfortunately, Dean’s already out of the car and pins him against the body of the car. The rain is picking up and it’s making his clothes stick to his body and his wet bangs are in his eyes.

“I’m not here to make fun of you, Cas,” Dean says. “So stop trying to run!”

“I’m sorry. I promise I won’t do it again.” Castiel says frantically. “Please just let me go.”

Dean’s hips are pressing against his to keep him from escaping. His arms are on both sides of Castiel’s head. He is completely trapped. He watches as Dean moves his left arm to pull open the door to the back seat. Before Castiel has a chance to even figure out what’s happening, Dean is grabbing him by the front of his shirt and shoving him into the backseat of the Impala.

He has Castiel presses up against the other door before his closes and shuts the other. Dean reaches up and wipes Castiel’s bangs out of his eyes.

“How about I show you what we did?” Dean purrs.

Castiel is completely and utterly screwed.

Castiel hasn’t kissed a girl before, let alone a guy so the press of Dean’s lips to his own is a weird, but not unpleasant sensation. He’s still deciding how much he likes it when he feels Dean’s tongue run along the crease of his lips. Castiel gives a little gasp and Dean’s tongue slips into the part of his lips. There’s a slick slide of tongue against tongue. He’s pretty sure he’s just secured his spot in hell. 

Castiel feels Dean’s fingers curl around the back of his neck and pull him in to deepen the kiss. Castiel is pressed further into the passenger door of the car as Dean slots his body snuggly against his own. When Dean finally breaks the kiss, Castiel lets out a little whimper from the loss of contact.

“See? It’s so much better when you’re actively participating rather than watching from your bedroom window.”

Dean plays with Castiel’s tie as if debating whether or not to remove it. His finger glide along the satin fabric and he pushes a finger into the knot. His green eyes gaze up Castiel’s body, starting from his chest and stopping when he makes eye contact. Castiel stares intently at the fingers on his ties and doesn’t realize Dean has moved until he feels his lips against his ear.

“You good or should we stop?” Dean says into his ear. Castiel shudders at the feel of Dean’s breath against his ear.

A vivid blush spreads across Castiel’s cheeks. He can’t do this. Michael and Lucifer told him what happens to men that go to bed with another man. He feels ashamed for even having kissed Dean in the first place and now Dean is offering to continue on this sinful path. Mostly, he’s burning from shame of wanting Dean to touch him.

“I can’t. It’s a sin.” Castiel gets out, but he’s practically ignored because Dean, being pretty impatient as it seems, dips down and mouths along his jaw and down the part of his neck that isn’t covered by his collar. 

“How can this be a sin? Why should I be judged for loving all of God’s handiwork?” Dean whispers over Castiel’s skin. He slips the blue eyed male’s tie off and gets to work on pulling his sweater vest over his head. 

“But Michael and Lucifer said-“Castiel starts as Dean works at the buttons of his shirt. He pauses his progress and places his hand under Castiel chin to force him to look into his eyes.

“Does this feel wrong to you? Because if it does, then by all means leave. You can walk away and I’ll never bother you again. We can go back to just being neighbors that only know each other by passing. I won’t even tell anyone what just happened.” Castiel mouth forms some kind of cross between the beginnings of a whimper and a pout. 

“Or,” Dean continues, “We can continue and I can show you what you’ve been missing out on.”

“I’ve see you with girls.” Castiel stutters out.

“I appreciate all God’s works.” He smirks. “So what’s your choice?” Dean murmurs into the skin of Castiel’s throat. 

Castiel reaches out and tentatively grips the bottom of the Henley that Dean’s wearing. He just lets his fingers play with the edge of the fabric before beginning to pull it up his back. Dean shifts to help Castiel remove the article of clothing and it ends up in the increasing pile of clothes in the Impala’s floor. 

Dean has a nice body. He’s all lean muscle, strong arms, and tan skin. His chest is moderately defined and dusted with a light layer of freckles. Castiel fights the urge to lick every last one.  His hands slide up the pane of Dean’s stomach, past his pecks, and come to rest around his neck.

He closes out his mind and lets his body decide.

“Please.” He whispers. And that’s all it takes.

Dean makes quick work of the buttons of Castiel’s shirt and starts mouthing his way down his throat and chest. He slides his tongue down his stomach before moving back up to capture Castiel’s mouth once more. The kiss is a messy tangle of tongue and teeth and Castiel finds himself moaning from it.  Dean’s fingers dip past the waistband of his pants, toying with the skin he finds there as if he’s asking for permission. When Dean’s fingers start to slide away, Castiel lets out a little whimper from the loss.

“Mmhm,” Dean says and Castiel can feel the smirk behind it against his neck. “So much for the little catholic boy. Thought it was a sin to lust for another man? Now he whines when I take my hand away.” He starts to trace circles against Castiel’s hips and he can’t help but buck his hips.

“Let me show you a good time.” Dean makes quick work of Castiel’s slacks, head dipping low to mouth at his hip and stomach. Castiel hasn’t figured out how to do with his hands, but finds himself carding them through Dean’s hair as Dean slides his slacks and boxers away. Dean’s hair is softer than it looks and even with its short length he finds himself gripping it when Dean spreads his legs to kiss and bite along his thighs.

Castiel’s cock is hard and leaking against his belly. He lets out a little whine as Dean continues to ignore it in favor of marking up his thighs. “Dean, please,” He begs. 

Dean slides up to capture Castiel’s mouth once more before saying, “As you wish.”

The feeling of Dean’s mouth on his cock is like nothing he’s ever felt. He’d never really even touched himself before. His brother told him that was a sin too and Castiel had believed them. The way Dean is working his cock can’t be wrong. It can’t be. 

He doesn’t think he can ever get enough of that wet heat.

When Castiel’s moaning and bucking becomes steady, Dean pulls off. Castiel whines at the loss. “Don’t worry. It gets even better,” he murmurs before shifting his body over the bench seats of the Impala and fishing through the glove box for something. “I know there’s some up here…shit…I think I just had it,” Dean mutters as he searches for his goal. “Ah ha!”

When Dean returns from his excursion in the front seat, he’s got a condom packet between his lips and a bottle of lube in his left hand. Castiel knows what a condom is and what it looks like. He’s never thought about using one. Another one of the lessons Michael and Lucifer drilled into his head was that he was not to have sex until he was married to a women and that when he was married, he was not to use any type of birth control. It was against their religion to copulate unless it was to attempt to bring a child into the world. 

This is big. This isn’t just kissing and fooling around. This is the real deal. This is the final step. If he prays hard enough, maybe God will forgive him for lusting for another man. Maybe he could be forgiven for the kissing and for the heaving petting. Maybe he could even be forgiven for letting Dean blow him and enjoying it. But if he goes through with this, he’ll be too dirty for forgiveness. His prayers will go unheard. He doesn’t think he can do this.

Dean’s busy cursing at the bottle of lube because he can get the top to twist off when Castiel says “Dean, I can’t.” Dean looks up from opening the bottle. “I can’t do this.”

Dean drops the bottle and grabs Castiel’s face in his hands. “Cas, I know you’re scared. It’ll be okay, I promise.” Dean presses a soft kiss to Castiel’s lips.

“I’m sorry Dean.”

“Cas, do you really think that God would hate you for this? How can he be so loving and not love you too? How can he hate you for how he created you?” He presses another kiss to his lips.

Castiel remembers what Anna told him. To use what the bible say to shape how he lives his life. There can’t be something wrong with him if he was made this way. 

He grabs Dean and pulls him down for a bruising kiss. “You’re right,” he tells Dean when they pull apart. He reaches down on the floor and finds the small bottle of lube. He presses it into Dean’s hand after removing the top.

Dean slicks up his fingers before easing one into Castiel’s entrance up to the first knuckle. Castiel makes little whimpers from the strangeness of having something inside of him.

“It’s gonna feel weird and it’s probably gonna hurt, but I promise it will feel really good eventually.” Castiel nods and tries to contain his noise as Dean continues to prep him.

When Dean’s worked three fingers into him, he removes his fingers and Castiel can’t help but feel empty. He watches as Dean rips open the condom with his teeth and pulls his pants and boxers down low enough to pull his own cock out. He gives it a few strokes before rolling the condom over it.

He slides back against Castiel as his lines his cock up to push in. “Ready?” he asks, “Last chance to back out.” 

Castiel kisses Dean, tongue running along Dean’s plump bottom lip. “Yes.”

That’s when Dean slides in.

Castiel grips Dean’s shoulders tight as Dean fills him and whispers reassurances into his ear. It’s more on the side of uncomfortable than pain; the feeling is more foreign than anything else. His feet can’t get a grip on the leather of the seat and after a couple seconds of flailing of his legs, Dean shifts them to wrap them around his waist.

Dean keeps kissing him and mouthing at his neck while Castiel adjusts to the feeling of being filled. Once it doesn’t feel quite so odd, Castiel starts shifting his hip in attempt to get Dean to move. Dean takes the hint and slides almost all the way out before pushing back in. Castiel lets out a little moan as Dean continues to thrust.

Castiel feels the heat pooling low in his stomach and his moans and whine increase. “Dean, I’m- I need…” he tries to get out and Dean wraps his hand around Castiel’s cock.

“I got you, Cas.” Dean says as he strokes Castiel to orgasm and he shoots on his belly. Dean thrust a couple more times before he comes and collapses on top of Castiel.

“See? That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” Dean pants against Castiel’s neck.

A cell phone starts ringing and Castiel realizes it’s his own. They move and shift until Castiel is able to grab his phone and answer it.

It’s Gabriel. “Hey bro. Sorry. I got caught up with Balthazar. Do you still need that ride?”

“I, uh.” Castiel starts, but Dean snatches the phone out of his hand.

“Cas is fine. I got him.” Dean says into the phone.

Castiel thinks Dean couldn’t be more right.

 

 


End file.
